monday = birthday = BLAH

so now it's the 22nd. one day after anna and kristy's. roland's birthday. 4 days until mine.

birthdays are kind of weird for me. i think my perspective on birthdays have changed since i hit 25. i was still an admin assistant, hated my job, was poor, was in a horrible relationship... and with the idea than i was hitting 25 without making any major accomplishments in my life, that was really depressing. that's when i began doing the "age +1" thing. the "age+1" thing is this: for a good 3 months before my birthday, i tell people i'm already that age so it lessens the blow when the day actually hits. some of my friends find that weird. i find it necessary. it definitely confuses people i just meet, though. some people think i'm turning 29 this year! lol...

i think the thing that's really bothering me about my age is because of "the plan." you know, "the plan." the one you came up with when you were little about how your life was going to be... where you were going to end up when. boys have it simple when they're little. they think "when i grow up, i'm going to be a fireman" and that's all they have to worry about. my "when i grow up" story was more like this:

"when i grow up, i'm going to finish college and be a business woman just like my daddy. then i'm going to get engaged by 26, married by 27, have my first child by 30. my family will have a dog and a cat, in a nice 3 bedroom house."

something like that. lol... what? i was an ambitious 8 year old!

so i had a timeline set... and i'm also one of those people that if a schedule is set, and plans don't occur as scheduled, i don't deal with the changes very well. especially life-changing. yeah, i'm pretty wimpy that i can't deal. eh. stupidity happens and i lost my way. so now i'm left scared wondering how life will be... and will those things ever come to fruition? who knows.

birthdays are so uplifting, aren't they?