6.24.2004

comment on a comment...

ooh i had a comment! very exciting, since i don't know many people that know about my new space. anyway, this one is addressed to your questions, anonymous one.

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to comment on your first post :)

"i have never been happy with my weight... i think since i was 14/15 or something like that. stupid, right?"

Wrong. If you feel as if you are too heavy, go on a diet.

However, think about this:

Are you fat? Or do you just think that you are fat?

Are you going on a diet to impress someone? Are you still under control from your parents? Are you sure your parents aren't trying to make you maore like what they wanted to be?

Best of luck.

6/24/2004 05:00:33 PM

i understand what you're trying to say. it's a matter of mindset, etc. but you have to understand, a 14 yr old at 100 lbs should not be worrying about her weight. a 28 year old that is a size 6 should not be worrying about her weight. i am normal. i need to rephrase myself, since i don't think i got my real point across - it is not the weight that bothers me, its moreso what people are saying to me. that those whose opinions matter to me (my family) are not looking at me for who i am as a person - my intelligence, my humor, my opinions, my creativity, my strength... the things that my mother taught me to be through her example. the fact that they find that my physical appearance is more important of a focus than my happiness or well being - that's disturbing. and to have it constantly pushed on you like it's a problem with you... that you're not good enough until the weight is lost... it's sad.

society's views and values dictate what is "right" or "wrong". always has and always will. anything outside of the norm is considered imperfect. i was 15 and i was reading magazines telling me what is the right type of body shape, the right type of weight, the right type of beauty. being an asian female in a non-asian environment, i have always felt outside of this spectrum. i made it my goal to be perfect. not for myself, but for what people wanted of me - my boyfriend (at the time), my family, my friends. i constantly gave myself unattainable goals so much so that i lost track of what was important in life - myself. and here i am after 13 years of struggle, fighting the same battle. i'm doing well with my job, i'm out on my own, i'm financially independant and have been for years... but just because i don't fit the what my mother thinks is the "proper weight" there is something wrong with me.

as for my own opinion about my weight, i think it's fine. i think i could stand to lose 5 lbs, but doesn't everybody? i see no issue with my weight unless it became a health issue, and with my father dying from cancer at 54 and my mom's side of the family being diabetic (and i mean 8 of 9 siblings have diabetes and 2 of them died from it last year) i think i need to exercise and eat properly on a regular basis. an eventual weight loss will be a benefit gained from that. *sigh* whatever. i'm done with this rant.

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