insomnia revisits...

but that always happens at this time of year. i think its residual from the fact i got something like 13 hours of sleep the other night. plus the three hour nap this morning. heh.

what? i'm on vacation! let me sleep!!!

so in about 6.75 hrs i need to be in church for my dad's mass. having lost my father over 14 years ago, this has come to be a tradition every 4th of july. and yes, he died on this day.

so here's how the day usually goes... mass for dad in the morning, novena in the afternoon (i.e. reciting a full rosary, kneeling for about 2 hrs), and barbecue w/ guests until they feel like leaving (which is usually around 10 PM). fun. god forbid i don't go... horrible horrible daughter i would be labeled. but then again, i'm the black sheep so what am i so afraid of? *sigh*

well, anyway, so that's why i'm here sleeping over at my mom's... so i will definitely make it to dad's mass in the morning. hopefully.

adding to the lack of july 4th festivities, my hunny is spending his first mainland july 4th filming a short movie in virginia somewhere. first time we've been apart for more than 2 days since april. i kid you not. it's good for us, i suppose. might be part of the reason i can't sleep, though.

this past day spending with my family made me realize if i lived at home i would go absolutely nuts. my brother never said anything nice, and whenever i made a comment about something he said he would say "stop taking everything i say so personally" meanwhile they're comments he's directing at me. *sigh* then there's my mom who's every other word has to do with talking with her friends about engagements and grandchildren. it's so uncomfortable hearing her talk about that stuff sometimes. i swear, i might as well have them just put me up against a wall, stare at me and point out all of my shortcomings and have them write it down on paper with a list on how i should fix these things so i'm easier for them to tolerate. disgusting, but true.

i love how much i bitch about my family on this thing.

happy thoughts...